From chapter one of original proposal:

A soft mew whispered from the shadows beyond the car.

“Here kitty,” Becki cooed, rounding the car.

Something wonked the side of her head and bounced off her shoulder.

She dropped to her knees, white light exploding in her vision. A swishing sound whispered past her ears as blackness swallowed her.

Editor’s Commentary: Expand on the scene with Becki getting hit on the head with a beam in the barn to make it more suspenseful.

Revised Version:

A soft mew whispered from the shadows.

Grateful for the distraction, Becki rounded the car. “Here, kitty.”

A thunk sounded behind her.

Heart pounding, she whirled on her heel.

A puff of dust floated up from around a block of wood on the floor.

She peered up at the hayloft, thinking a cat must have knocked it down. The dust and smell of moldy hay scratched her lungs.

Movement flashed in her peripheral vision. Something big. Much bigger than a cat.

She ducked behind an upturned wheelbarrow and squinted into the shadows. “Hello.” She took a deep breath, forced her voice louder. “Anyone there?”

A faint echo taunted her.

She strained to listen for movement, but she couldn’t hear anything over the roar of blood pulsing past her ears. She edged around the wheelbarrow and scanned the other direction.

Something shuffled behind her.

She spun toward the sound. “Who’s there?”

A figure lunged out of the shadows, swinging a hunk of wood.

She thrust up her arms. The wood glanced off and slammed into the side of her head. White light exploded in her vision. She dropped to her knees, tasting blood. The ground rushed toward her. Swishing whispered past her ears as blackness swallowed her.

First Draft Ending of Chapter One:

“Yeah, the one with night vision and motion trigger,” Josh muttered into the phone. “No not animals.” He pushed back a corner of the curtain and stared out into the deep blackness of the country night. “We’re looking to catch a human.”

Editor’s Commentary: Ending needs to be stronger/more compelling

Revised Ending of Chapter One:

“You think the note and incident in the barn are connected?” Obviously he did. Which meant whoever was slinking around the property had been expecting her.

First Draft ending of Chapter Two:

The jeep door opened. The guy climbed out, his heavy boots hitting the gravel with a thud. Boots that could dispense with Josh’s three-legged dog in one swift kick. The guy peeled off a jacket and slapped a ball cap on his head, exposing tattooed, steel arms. Army-olive fatigues completed the look of mercenary looking for action. The guy reached behind his seat.

Josh’s words blasted through her mind. Some guys will just as soon shoot a witness as run away. Abandoning the idea of holing up in the car, Becki whirled on her heel and ran for the house.

Editor’s Commentary: Although the heroine is frightened by the guy in the jeep, this is false suspense since the man turns out to be a friend of Josh’s.

My Fix: Since I liked the situation and wanted to keep it, I shifted the scenes so this became the middle of a scene in chapter three. It continues:

 Some guys would just as soon shoot a witness as run away. Becki whirled on her heel and ran for the house.

“Hey, hold up there. Are you Bec?”

Bec? She stopped two yards from the door. Josh was the only one who called her that. This had to be the friend he’d called about borrowing the cameras. …

1. Tell us a little about yourself and how you came to be in the midst of such suspense.

My name is Joshua Rayne. My friends call me Josh. I live in the rural outskirts of Serenity in southern Ontario, Canada. I’m a police officer so it was only natural that I’d try to catch whoever is harassing my new neighbor.

2. Yes, tell us a bit about your new neighbor Becki Graw. What was your first impression? When did you know it was love?

First impression? I guess I’d have to say it was “wow”. She’s all grown up. As for love…I’m not so sure. The sparks, the attraction were definitely there from day one, but I’ve been burned before so I don’t give my heart away easily. I love simple rural living and didn’t want to fall for someone who didn’t share the same values. I knew Bec did as a kid, but a lot can change in fifteen years.

3. What strengths/skills do you have? What is your greatest weakness?

I’m a good cop, maybe care a little more than is wise sometimes.

4. What scares you?

At the moment, the thought of anyone getting to Becki Graw.

5. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I wouldn’t have run off to the military after my girl dumped me after high school graduation. Not that I don’t appreciate what I learned there, and the friends I made, but I should never have left my dad like that. He needed me here on the farm. By the time I came back it was too late.

6. Where are you in your faith at the start of your story?

My faith is very important to me. I go to church. Help out wherever I can. Always try to do the right thing.

7. Where are you in your faith at the end of the story?

I came to realize that one area of my life I wasn’t ready to trust God in was finding a wife. I had this mental checklist that my future wife would meet, and didn’t give myself a chance to get too close to any woman who fell short. But as my sister pointed out, you don’t fall in love with a checklist of ideals. You fall in love with a person, with all her faults and differing opinions—the way God made her to be. And you trust God to help you make it work, because relationships get messy no matter how many boxes on your checklist you’ve ticked.

8. What is the one thing you would never do?

Live in the city. At least not if I could help it. I lived a lot of different places during my military stint, but my heart is in the country.

9. What’s your greatest fear?

Marrying the wrong woman. My mom left my dad when I was in high school. Couldn’t stand living out in the boonies any longer. It killed him to lose her.

10. What is the most unusual thing about you?

I guess it’s that I have a habit of taking in whatever stray comes my way. At the moment that includes a three-legged dog and a bird with a broken wing.

11. What do you hope people will learn from your experience in this story?

Men should learn that you can never figure out what a woman wants. I thought I was being respectful by not chasing after a woman who cuts out on me, but my sister told me that sometimes that’s exactly what they want, to prove we love them. Love them enough to risk rejection again! And I’m telling you, if you really love her, you’ll be glad you did.

Ingredients:
• Zucchini, thickly sliced
• Red bell pepper, sliced
• Medium Carrot, thinly sliced
• Red onion, sliced
• Small brown mushrooms
• Cherry tomatoes
Equal parts: olive oil, soy sauce*, lemon juice, and ½ clove crushed garlic

Directions:
1. In a small bowl, mix together olive oil, soy sauce, lemon juice, and garlic.
2. Place the sliced vegetables, mushrooms and tomatoes in a large bowl.
3. Pour marinade over the vegetables. Cover and set in the refrigerator for 20 minutes.
4. Preheat grill for medium heat.
5. Use a vegetable sauté basket or lightly oil grate. Remove vegetables from marinade, and place on preheated grill. Cook for 12 to 15 minutes, or until tender.
6. Alternatively, wrap vegetables in heavy foil and cook until tender.

 *One of my blog readers, Jennifer Shirk, recommends Liquid Aminos as a tasty, low sodium alternative to the soy sauce.

1)   Tell us a little about yourself and how you came to be in the midst of such suspense. 

My name is Tom Parker. I was born in the US, but grew up in the Niagara region of Canada where my dad was a cop on the local force. I went to college in the US and joined the FBI where I worked for fifteen years, until… Well, it doesn’t matter why I left. My dad needed me. My mom died recently so I took a detective’s job back here in Niagara and moved in with my dad.

2)   So coming home to your dad wasn’t the only reason you left your job?

That’s right.

3)   And you’re not going to tell me the other reason?

That’s right.

4)   Okay then, moving on. What scares you?

Making a wrong decision that costs someone their life.

5)   Where are you in your faith at the start of your story?

I’m a believer, but I have to admit that my faith has been battered by what I’ve seen on the job. I wish I had the kind of joy I see in Kate’s eyes when she talks about God.

6)   What was your first impression of Kate?

Fiercely loyal and with a grit to tackle just about anything life threw her way. I admire her certainty about her friend’s character… as misplaced as that faith might be. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that certain about anyone.

7)   What strengths/skills do you have? 

I’m a good detective. I can usually tell when suspects are lying. I can quickly assess a situation and respond.

8)   What is your greatest weakness?             

It used to be that I trusted those close to me, but I won’t make that mistake again. Now, maybe I judge a person or situation too quickly, and too harshly, or see a problem where there isn’t one. But better to eat a little crow later then fail to stop a crisis.        

9)   What do you value above all else?

Family. In my line of work, especially before I came back to this quiet, rural area, I saw a lot of awful stuff. I saw the job tear relationships apart. Playing with my crazy little nephews, seeing my sister and her husband happily married, working with Dad has made me appreciate what I’ve been missing being so far away.

10)   What do you want more than anything?

To find a woman who I can believe in and trust. Trouble is I’m having a hard time believing in anyone these days.

• 2 teaspoons dried calendula flower petals
• 1 cup of boiling water

Place calendula petals in an infuser and pour 1 cup of boiled water over the petals. Allow the calendula to steep for 10–15 minutes. Then enjoy.

Calendula petals picked later in the year may be bitter; if so, sweeten with honey. Calendula can be infused with other herbs for added benefits.

This tea is said to promote healthier skin; relieve sore throats; reduce fevers; detoxify, prevent, or relieve stomach problems; ease menstrual cramps and menopausal hot flashes.

N.B. Calendula is commonly called Pot Marigold, but do not confuse the many other varieties of marigolds (tagetes) for calendula!

If you’ve tried Caledula tea, please share your experience in the comments section below:

1.    Tell us a little about yourself and how you came to be in the midst of such suspense. 

My name is Kate Adams and I’m a research scientist specializing in herbal remedies. My dear friend, mentor, and fellow researcher, Daisy Leacock, died recently, the police say by drinking the wrong kind of marigold tea. But my friend would never have made such a mistake, and she certainly wouldn’t have done it deliberately. I can’t bear the thought of people thinking she could. Let alone the thought of someone getting away with her murder. So since the police refuse to continue the investigation, I intend to find her killer myself.

2.    Do you have any family?

I have my church family, but I’m kind of new there so I’m not close to anyone, really. I live with my friend Julie whose wedding is in a few weeks. I have no siblings. My parents are also gone. Daisy was the closest thing to family that I had and now she’s gone, too. Her long-lost nephew Edward shares my grief, but he seems just as anxious as the police to let the investigation die.

3.    So, during the investigation you met Tom Parker.  Tell us a bit about him.  What was your first impression? 

He seemed kind and compassionate. He wore a suit and tie, not a uniform, which put me at ease. I am not comfortable around cops, not since one took my father away when I was a child. Of course, when he refused to reopen the case, I knew he just pressed his business card into my hand to placate me.

4.    Do you still feel the same?

I’m not sure. Half the time I think I can trust him, that he actually cares about me more than just as a witness or because I stumbled into danger. Then…he’ll go and do something that makes me realize that when he spouted his “People are rarely what they seem” motto, he was talking about himself.

5.   Is there one event that shaped your life and made you who you are today?

Yes, my father died in police custody when I was ten. I’ll never forget the day they took him away. He leaned his forehead against the window and said, “Remember Kate, I love you. I will always love you.” I didn’t understand why they took him away. Mom told me over and over again that he didn’t do anything wrong, but she also told me not to talk about him, so what was I supposed to think? We ended up moving very far away to live with my Gran and Gramps and escape the questions, and the merciless taunts of my classmates. It made me a very private person. Mom battled depression after that. My Gramps was a gardener. My Gran was into herbal remedies and my dad had been a medicinal researcher so I guess I came by my vocation naturally. My interest in finding a remedy for depression in particular came from watching my mom.

6.    You seem really brave striking out on your own this way to solve your friend’s murder. Aren’t you afraid the murderer might come after you?

The thought had crossed my mind, and my roommate pointed it out a time or two to try to discourage me, but if you understood how much Daisy did for me, you’d understand why I can’t let her reputation be destroyed this way. I’d be letting her down.

7.    Some have suggested you’re more concerned about how such a mishap on her part would reflect on the caliber of your research. Care to respond?

That’s ridiculous. Yes, this research is very important to me. And yes, if people believed Daisy accidentally drank tea made from the wrong marigolds, it would probably cause some concern among the board members of the foundation that provided our funding grant, but that’s not why I’m trying to clear Daisy’s name! She was my friend.

8.    Is there anything you fear?

Sure, we all have fears. I guess deep down my greatest fear is finding out that my dad really had done something horribly wrong and was a bad person like my classmates had said. Maybe that’s why it’s so important to me to prove Daisy didn’t do anything wrong.

9.    What do you value above all else?

Loyalty. Friends you can count on no matter what.

10. What do you hope people will learn from your experience?

Believe in people. Don’t give up on them. Look past what they’re doing to the hurting person inside. Look for the good in people.

Photos of the inspiration for “Port Aster”   Click on an image to read caption and scroll through the enlarged images.

Click here to download PDF version of this page

Reading Group Guide for

Deadly Devotion: A Novel

Port Aster Secrets, #1

by Sandra Orchard

 1.         Tom operates under the assumption that people are rarely what they seem. What problems arise from having this attitude toward everyone with whom you interact?

 2.         Having received conflicting messages (between what her mother said vs. how she acted) about her father’s innocence, Kate is reluctant to seek out the truth about him for fear she might discover he wasn’t the man she wants to believe he was. Have you ever resisted learning the true nature of someone in your life? Did you eventually learn the truth? How might you handle such a situation differently next time?

 3.         Since Daisy is Kate’s most esteemed example of a true believer in God, Kate can’t believe Daisy would take her own life. Have you ever been disillusioned by the actions of someone you esteemed? How did it affect your attitude toward what you valued?

 4.         Kate was raised to be a very private person, because of her family secrets. She feels shame and fear that if people knew about her father, they wouldn’t want to be associated with her. Likewise, Chief Brewster fears being judged unfairly because of his father’s criminal past. Have you ever experienced similar feelings—that you must be someone else to be presentable? At the end of the book, Kate makes a decision to confront her past. How might you confront your shame and experience healing?

 5.         While Kate is an avid proponent of taking a natural approach to health, one character in the story refers to herbal remedies this way: “If you ask me, all that eye of newt stuff is just another way to part a fool from his money.” What do you think about herbal remedies?

 6.         Kate’s friend Julie tries to be supportive and encourage Kate to talk about what she’s feeling, often over a carton of ice cream. How do you offer emotional support to friends who are hurting?

 7.         While Tom acknowledges an attraction to Kate, he doubts he could ever trust his heart to another person after the betrayals he’s seen and experienced. Has a betrayal in your life left you reluctant to love with all your heart? Has that protected you from being hurt? Kept you from experiencing good things?

 8.         Tom’s dad is having a hard time seeing past his own pain until he starts helping Tom with the investigation. How does helping others help you?

 9.         Kate’s determination to clear her mentor’s name propels her into dangerous situations. Have you or would you willingly put your own well-being at risk to see justice served? Share an example.

 10.      At the beginning of the book, Kate’s roommate doubts Kate could ever suspect anyone of being a murderer. Kate is the type of person who always sees the best in people. However, by the end of the book, she’s seen the proof of Tom’s motto—people are rarely what they same. Yet, even knowing the unscrupulous things Edward Smythe has done, she defends him. She sees the hurting man inside and wants to help him. Can you see past what people do or say to the hurting person who’d benefit from your friendship?

Two blocks from the police station, Kate parked her car curbside. Her stomach was more scrambled than her morning eggs, and her hands hadn’t stopped trembling since she marched out of Parker’s office, vowing to find Daisy’s killer.

Was she nuts?

What did she know about tracking down a murderer?

She could end up his next victim.

Her gaze darted from window to window. Okay, Kate, get a grip. No one besides a roomful of cops even knows you’re looking. She pocketed her keys and stepped out of the car. A short walk might help her calm down and figure out what to do next.

Bright splotches of sunlight dappled the tree-lined street, but the scene felt wrong—as if even the sky had failed her. The weather should be cloudy, miserable, like she felt.

How could Detective Parker insinuate Daisy killed herself on purpose?

He’d acted so concerned with those soft eyes and mellow tones, and then boom, he delivered that “people are rarely what they seem” line. Well, she’d show him. Daisy was an open book—and more than that, a woman full of life and zest. She never would have killed herself.

And Kate would prove it.

Somehow.