So far I’ve only been alerted to one true blooper, and thanks to that attentive reader, my publisher was able to correct the Ebook version.
This is how the original reads midway through the book:
“You think Laud would take out his own niece?” Zach’s voice rose in disbelief.
“The man took out his own wife!”
“You don’t know that,” Zach said. “The fire marshal said she was smoking in bed.”
“The fire started from a cigarette next to the bed. Not in it.”
“Could’ve still been her own fault. And that was over twenty-five years ago. You’ve got to calm down, or you’re going to blow your case. This could’ve been an accident, too, pure and simple.”
Explanation: If you’ve read the book, you should recognize the blooper. I can’t say more, because I don’t want to spoil the book for those who might yet read it.
For fun, this is one of Lori’s “real-life” bloopers (Lori has a mental age of 3 or 4):
Rick laughed—a laugh filled with memories of weekends in the kitchen with Ginny concocting outrageous combinations of food, but none as peculiar as the birthday cake Lori had made for him. When the bottle of whipped cream she’d been using to ice his cake had run dry, she’d thought the picture on the aerosol tin in her mom’s bathroom looked like the same stuff. He worked his mouth, still able to taste the lemony-scented shaving cream.
One look at Laud’s grim expression and Rick knew he was in trouble.
A dark cloud crept across the sky, blanketing the construction site in a shadow as dark as his probable future.
Rick trudged behind his boss toward the portable office. Laud, attired in his usual Armani suit, walked with his arms away from his sides as though he might be wearing a shoulder holster.
A slow burn began in the pit of Rick’s stomach. He’d laid awake all night cataloging break-in suspects, and assessing their potential interference to this case. But maybe, Zach had been right.
If Laud was behind last night’s break-in, Rick had about ten seconds to come up with a reasonable explanation to disparage whatever conclusions Laud had drawn. His fingers itched to grab the Glock secured behind the seat of his truck.
Laud must’ve heard Rick’s steps slow because he turned and slid his hand inside his suit jacket. “Did you need something from your truck?”
Rick suppressed an instinctive urge to dive for cover, as Laud drew out a … pocket watch, and glanced at the time.
Rick found his breath and picked up his pace. “No, I’m good. I was just trying to remember where I left my thermos.” With a bit of luck, or divine intervention, Laud’s desire to see the group home finished might outweigh any inclination to neutralize the spy in his midst.
Laud pushed through the door of the portable onsite office, and waited for Rick to enter. “Shut the door.”
Sandra: Although I liked how this scene depicts Rick’s emotions, provides a brief sequel to his previous scene, and sets up the goal for the coming one, I needed to cut words to meet word count limits. Since most of these details were unessential, this prelude got the ax. The bare bones fix ended up reading:
When Laud motioned Rick into the portable onsite office, a slow burn ignited in the pit of his stomach. If Laud was behind last night’s break-in, Rick had about ten seconds to concoct an explanation to counter whatever conclusions he’d drawn, especially where Ginny was concerned.
Laud took a seat behind the desk. “Shut the door.”
The sunshine splashing through the windows turned Ginny’s hair to gold, and her smile was so enchanting Rick almost hadn’t been able to stop at merely reaching for her hand. He’d teased her about courting to inspire Laud’s continued trust, but something inside of him had gone weak when she’d leaned close.
She looked delicious in a cotton-candy pink T-shirt. But the sight of her in faded jeans and hiking boots had sent his mind reeling to the last time he’d seen her dressed like that. They’d been hiking through the Allegheny National Forest. The scenery had been spectacular—the autumn colors a striking contrast to the deep blue sky—the kind of scenery that gave a guy ideas.
They’d happened upon a cardinal that echoed his very thoughts—purty, purty, purty—and drawn in by her radiant smile, he hadn’t been able to stop himself from gathering her in his arms. Her perfume had tangled his thoughts, silencing the warning voice inside. And he’d kissed her. She tasted of goodness, and patience, and happily ever afters, and he knew he’d found the woman he wanted to marry. He loved her. He loved everything about her, her smile, her laughter, her kindhearted spirit. He loved the way she lit up when he walked into a room. He loved the way she leaned on him, trusting him with her heart. He loved the way she made him come alive …
Laud cleared his throat with an I’m-still-here cough. “Well, my dear, it looks like I can leave you in Duke’s capable hands. I’ll speak with you after he takes you on the grand tour”
Sandra: This scene was at about 135 in my manuscript. My editor advised me that was too soon for the hero to admit to himself that he loved the heroine as that would kill the romantic tension.
Aside from the last line, all his thoughts were deleted and the meeting remained in Ginny’s point of view.
Here’s how it reads now:
Rick sauntered toward them, his gaze flicking from their faces to the documents.
“We’ll discuss this another time,” Uncle Emile said, giving the first page a cursory glance, before tossing the stack into his car. “Duke! My niece has been so busy courting rich businessmen for donations that she hasn’t had a tour.”
After one last glance at the documents, a mischievous twinkle lit Rick’s eye. “Hmm, I might be persuaded to make a donation if it comes with courting.”
Caught off guard by his flirting, Ginny shyly whispered, “Thank you for the flowers.”
He took her hand and threaded his fingers through hers. “And.”
He smelled of coffee, and sawdust, and an intriguing mixture of suntan lotion and pine. She leaned closer to savor it, and the pounding in her chest eclipsed the sound of hammers and saws. “And?”
“And will you go to the gala with me?”
Laud cleared his throat with an I’m-still-here cough. “Well, my dear, it looks like I can leave you in Duke’s capable hands.”
“Well, what did you expect him to say?” Kim stood up from where she’d been helping Ginny pull weeds from the flowerbed next to the front porch, and planted her hands on her hips. “You said you were going to give him another chance. He told you his real name and why he changed it. What more do you want from the man?”
Ginny yanked out a fistful of weeds and slammed them into the bucket at her side. “The truth. I wanted him to open up to me. I wanted him to make me believe in him. I wanted him to tell me he couldn’t bear to lose me again.”
Kim flung her arms up. “For crying out loud, Ginny. Rick, Duke, or whatever you want me to call him, may have told you sometimes things are grey, but trust me, when it comes to the way men think, they are black and white. If you don’t tell them exactly what you want, forget hoping they’ll figure it out.”
Ginny stabbed her trowel into the dirt and pried out a dandelion. “And what makes you the expert on men all of a sudden?”
“Three brothers and a dad. Have you forgotten where my mom’s hints landed her on their last surprise vacation?”
“They went to Houston, didn’t they?” Ginny wrapped her fingers around the base of a Burdock and jerked hard. The plant tore away from its roots and she toppled onto her butt, not unlike the way she’d tried to deal with Rick.
Kim offered her a hand up. “Yeah, my parents went to Houston, but Mom had told Dad she wanted to go ‘someplace warm that starts with an H.’”
Ginny brushed the dirt from her hands and bottom. “How could your dad not know she meant Hawaii?”
“He’s a man. I’m telling you, you have to spell it out for them H-A-W-A-I-I, or forget it. If a man says he understands, chances are he doesn’t have a clue.”
Sandra: I loved this exchange and really, really hated to cut it. But I had to cut word count and since this exchange didn’t advance the plot, it went. I love Kim’s spunky character. She is the heroine in Shades of Truth, Book 2 of Undercover Cops that releases in 2012. Since this scene never made it into Deep Cover, it doesn’t conflict with her new reality, which is that she only has one brother!
The scene actually went on for several more pages and included this other fun exchange that I hated to cut:
“Come over here,” Ginny whispered, eyeing the doorway, hoping Lori wouldn’t follow. “Look.” She opened the curtain a slit. “The truck’s back.”
Kim stood on her tiptoes and peered down the street. “I think you’re right.”
“That’s it. I’m going out there to confront him.”
Kim grabbed her arm. “Are you nuts? You don’t know if that’s Rick. It could be some psycho stalker.”
“Stalker? Are you listening to yourself? I do not have a stalker after me.”
“Oh, yeah. Then why did you run inside and lock the door?”
Okay, so she had considered the possibility. “Mr. Callaghan is out there mowing his lawn. Whoever is in that truck won’t try anything with witnesses around. Right? And once he knows I’m onto him, maybe he’ll leave me alone.” Ginny tugged her arm from Kim’s grasp.
“Wait. Haven’t you ever watched the horror flicks where the heroine goes up to the attic to check out a noise and everyone except her knows she’s crazy to do it? Girl, you’re that crazy woman.”
“My life is not a horror flick.”
“No, more like a soap opera.”
Ginny crossed her arms over her chest. “Remind me again why you’re my friend.”
“Okay, I’ll admit I’ve been slacking off where God’s concerned. But my life is in His hands every second I’m out there. I know that.”
“Yeah, but are you willing to play it His way?” Zach twirled the leaf stem between his thumb and finger. “My niece told me the colors we see in the fall have been in the leaves all along. We just can’t see them because of the chlorophyll. It’s not until the tree stops producing chlorophyll that we get to enjoy all the other colors.”
Rick glanced at the tree in all its splendor. “Is there a point to this botany lesson?”
“You remember that day you and Ginny hiked in the Allegheny National Forest, and you realized she was the one?”
Rick closed his eyes and let the memory sweep over him. It had been a perfect autumn day. “The colors were brilliant.”
“I’ve seen glimpses of some pretty cool colors in you, too.”
“Huh?” Zach had obviously been spending too much time with the women. Next he’d be quoting poetry. And Rick hadn’t been any better at that in school, than botany. He snatched the ball from under Zach’s arm. “What are you on, man?”
Zach grinned. “I’m saying, there’s a lot more to you than just being a cop. You feed on your job like this tree feeds on its chlorophyll. But God wants us to feed on Him. Maybe it’s time to let go … and let God.”
“Now you’re quoting me bumper stickers?” Rick laid up a shot and hit the rim.
Zach grabbed the rebound. “You’d prefer Bible verses?”
“I’d prefer more playing and less jabbering.” Rick stole the ball and dribbled down the drive.
“You’re the one who asked why you were hanging onto your job.”
“That question was rhetorical.” Rick dribbled past Zach and finally scored. “Did your niece happen to explain what that means?”
“Ha, ha. Try to help and you get a comedian.”
“Yeah, well, as far as Ginny’s concerned, I’m beyond help.”
Sandra again: Although I liked Zach’s “botany lesson”, it didn’t sound like how a guy would talk, which Rick, of course, thinks. It also made the scene a little too long and preachy.
The Final Version:
“Okay, I’ll admit I’ve been slacking off where God’s concerned. But my life is in His hands every second I’m out there. I know that.”
“Yeah, but are you willing to play it His way? There’s a lot more to you than just being a cop. Maybe it’s time to let go … and let God.”
Someone wants to stop Becki Graw from claiming her inheritance. Police officer Joshua Rayne is just as determined to keep his beautiful neighbor safe. She may not be the tomboy Josh remembers, but she’s just as stubborn. Becki is intent on keeping her grandparents’ remote farmhouse-no matter the danger. Becki’s feelings for her childhood crush may be rekindled, but she’s seen too much to risk opening her heart. As the threats against Becki escalate, the list of suspects grows longer. Josh must convince Becki to trust him with her heart-and her life-before a madman ends their chance at happiness…permanently.
Kate won’t be safe until all of Port Aster’s secrets are revealed
Researcher Kate Adams has finally pinpointed the supposed “miracle plant” that tore her family apart years ago. She’s certain that discovering its secrets is her only hope of solving the mystery surrounding her father’s disappearance. She’s willing to risk anything to find the truth, including her relationship with Detective Tom Parker. But with so many people in pursuit of the plant, going it alone might be a fatal mistake.
Award-winning author Sandra Orchard pulls out all the stops in this breakneck and breathtaking conclusion to the Port Aster Secrets series.
Also available in Large Print, Hard Cover volumes with cover to the left
What others are saying:
“… a perfect balance between research, science, and a mystery that holds a great deal of action. This is the perfect end to the Port Aster trilogy. And this series goes out as having given readers everything they hope for from a book: hero and heroine, lots of excitement, and a need for this author to create a brand new series ASAP.”~Suspense Magazine
“…I loved how the author was able to give me a mystery with lots of conspiracy as well as non-stop action. The author’s writing will have you guessing you know the answer but later finding out you didn’t have a clue….” ~ Arlena Dean of Night Owl Reviews
Winner of the 2015 The Word Award for mystery and a 2015 Selah Award finalist
Kate Adams had no idea she was carrying counterfeit money, and she can’t believe that it came from her sweet neighbor. Or that it lands her in the middle of another one of Detective Tom Parker’s investigations. Determined to prove her neighbor’s innocence, Kate stumbles into a pit of intrigue that is far deeper than a two-bit counterfeit operation–and strikes too close to home for comfort. As family secrets come to light, her world–and her budding romance with Tom–begin to crumble. To Kate, it’s clear that she won’t be safe until she uncovers all of Port Aster’s secrets. But is it too late for her and Tom?
Award-winning author Sandra Orchard draws readers into a world of rogues, red herrings, and romance as she unfolds the continuing story of amateur sleuth Kate Adams.
N.B. Each book in this series is a stand-alone mystery featuring Kate Adams, a herbal medicine researcher turned amateur sleuth, and Tom Parker, Port Aster’s newest detective. Together the three-book series reads as a romantic suspense, with Kate and Tom’s romance and an underlying suspense plot arcing the series. For that reason, and because book two is a spoiler for book one, we recommend the series be read in order.
What others are saying:
“Orchard infuses romance with suspense and keeps the excitement coming page after page. Readers will love the ever-deepening mystery as Kate extends her investigation and finds herself and her long-dead father tangles up in an international corporate conspiracy.” Booklist
“This sequel picks up where the last book left off, so it’s helpful if readers are familiar with the plot of Orchard’s Deadly Devotion. The main characters’ relationship develops nicely.More secrets are revealed and a mystery is solved, but there are still many questions the reader will be eager to have answered in (hopefully) the next book.” 4 stars RT Book Reviews
Also available in Large Print, Hard Cover volumes with cover to the left
A compassionate youth worker fighting to preserve her dying father’s legacy battles the justice-driven detective who threatens her mission and her heart.
Big city detective Ethan Reed is working deep undercover at a Christian youth detention center. The kind of place he spent some harrowing time in as a kid. Ethan’s mission: ferret out who’s recruiting resident teens for a drug ring. He expects help from the lovely, devoted director of Hope Manor. But Kim Corbett won’t tell Ethan anything— even when she’s threatened and attacked. When Ethan discovers what Kim is protecting, his guarded heart opens just a bit wider. Enough to make this the most dangerous assignment of his career.
Maintaining his cover cost undercover cop Rick Gray the woman he loved. Sweet Ginny Bryson never really knew Rick–he never gave her the chance. Not then, and not now, when he’s back with a new alias to gather evidence against Ginny’s uncle. The man’s crimes led to Rick’s partner’s death, and Rick wants justice to be served. But his investigation is stirring up trouble, and Ginny is in the middle of it. Someone wants Ginny to pay the price for what her uncle has done. But how can Rick protect her without blowing his cover, jeopardizing his assignment…and risking both their lives?
Kate knows the truth is out there—but if she’s right, that means a killer is out there too.
Research scientists Kate Adams and Daisy Leacock were on the brink of a breakthrough for treating depression with herbal medicine when Daisy was suddenly found dead. Kate knows that her mentor’s death wasn’t suicide or a careless accident—and she’s determined to do whatever it takes to unearth the truth about what happened to the woman who changed her life.
Former FBI agent Tom Parker is finding it hard to adjust to life back in his hometown of Port Aster. Though an old buddy gave him a job as a detective on the local police force, not everyone approves. Tom’s just trying to keep a low profile, so when Kate Adams demands he reopen the investigation into her friend’s death, he knows his job is at stake. But despite his attraction to her, Tom thinks Kate herself may have something to hide.
As evidence mounts, a web of intrigue is woven around the sleepy town of Port Aster. Can Kate uncover the truth? Or will Tom stand in her way?
Here’s what others are saying:
“I couldn’t put it down. A compelling plot with intriguing characters that swept me up into their lives.”
—Margaret Daley, author of the Men of the Texas Rangers series
“A clever whodunit mixed with a sweet romance. This makes for a story you won’t put down until the end—and then only because you have to. Looking forward to book two!”
—Lynette Eason, bestselling and award-winning author of the Deadly Reunions series
A nurse. An undercover cop. A killer who’ll stop at nothing to avoid being caught.
EVERYONE’S AT RISK There’s a murderer in the hospital, and nurse Tara Peterson is determined to prove it. With mysterious deaths in the cancer ward, anyone could be next. But no one wants to believe her…except for undercover agent Zach Davis. The murderer wants Tara’s suspicions silenced, permanently. To protect Tara, Zach lets her in on his secret, and unwittingly into his heart. Tara and her three-year-old daughter are like the family he lost years before. Zach will risk everything to keep them safe, no matter the cost.
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