Talking about the Blame Game

Since Shades of Truth has hit Ebook readers nationwide…

and I know this because it actually appeared in the top 20 on 2 Kindle bestseller lists on Friday, yee!!

I’ve decided to ask a reader question from the back of my book, today.

The hero, Ethan Reed, is working undercover in a youth detention center to ferret out the person who’s recruiting residents for a drug ring.

In his youth, Ethan did time in a similar facility, and based on that experience, he remarks that residents always claim incidents are never their fault.

We talked about this tendency in our Sunday School class yesterday morning. That is, we talked about how all sin begins with self-deception.

Self-deception such as:
~saying everyone is doing it or
~it can’t be wrong when it feels so right or
~I’ll just do it this once or
~I can always ask God to forgive me later or
~saying you can’t help it, it’s not your fault, because of A, B, or C

Whereas, true repentance is marked not only by an admission that yes, you did wrong, but an absence of rationalization for it, as well as a genuine sorrow about doing it (not just about getting caught!), and the desire to make restitution to any offended party.

So here’s the question: When you make a mistake in your life, do you tend to blame someone else or do you take responsibility? Since this is an intensely personal question, perhaps share an example of how doing one or the other (in your younger days!) had positive or negative repercussions and what you learned from that experience.


If you’d like to read an interview with my hero, you’ll find it here:

And there’s a giveway going on this week for a signed copy of SoT here:


  • Well, I never make mistakes, so…hehe, j/k.

    I’ll answer seriously, now. I think some of the biggest mistakes I make in my life these days start in my mind – by thinking the wrong thoughts or giving into emotions. Emotions are flighty. And I do sometimes blame my emotions on others.

    But in my more mature moments, when I take responsibility for my thoughts, when I choose to manage my emotions instead of letting them manage me, that’s when true repentance and heart change happens.

    • Thanks for sharing this Melissa. Emotions are a hard animal to tame. I like what you said about learning to manage your emotions instead of letting them manage you.

  • I always take responsibility for my thoughts and actions.

    It wasn’t always this way…Over my lifetime, God changed my heart on many issues. Not easy…not by a long shot. My heart was filled with sorrow for a long time.

  • Some of my biggest mistakes started with self-justification. I knew they weren’t right, but the human side of me didn’t care. God used the darkest moment in my life to bring me to my knees. Sometimes I wish I could erase that dark time, but the changes that followed were only because of the grace of God. Now I take responsibility for my actions because God’s going to know either way.

  • I learned my lesson the hard way, and since then, I shoulder the blame when it’s due. In second grade there was this big bully. He always picked on me, called me four eyes, made me, and alot of other kids miserable. One day, our class was walking through the hall to music class and I fell. The bully started the kids taunting me and so… I blamed him, said he tripped me. But then, of course, the blame game took a treacherous turn when the boy was sent to the principal’s office for his third strike for innappropriate conduct. He was going to be suspended. I was so eaten up with guilt, even at that age–and even though the boy probably deserved the punishment–that I told my mom and I had to go to the principal and tearfully confess my lie. Oh, I still remember it. It is seared into my memory for good.

Great to "see" you here today! I look forward to reading your comment.